Misconceptions in Dating #1: Bring the Women and the Men Will Follow

I can't tell you the number of people that have told me, "Bring the women and the men will follow." They say this about parties, bars, and dating, especially for HeyU, but it's not true.

Where does this myth come from?

An events planner at a favorite bookstore of mine in Manhattan told me that she had over 100 female registrants to 20 male registrants at a speed dating event. That's a 10:2 ratio!

Walk by a fancy bar or a restaurant on a Thursday night and tell me how many women you see. Some restaurants and bars are only frequented by women or couples.

What about the ballet? Or the Opera? Women. Tons and tons of women and hardly ever any men. Attention men of New York...if you want to find a date, go to a ballet class! I'm at Ballet Arts every Thursday and Sunday. Just kidding. Sort of.

Alternatively, I've walked by bars in midtown where there are only men. Swarms of men.

Sure, you can argue that there are more women than men in New York. But 10:2? 

Yet on HeyU, we have 3 male users to 1 female user...all in New York. Friends have told me that Ashley Madison had the same problem, and they faked their female users. Note: We don't fake any users and we're not like Ashley Madison.

Dating books specifically advise women not to go out as a group because it's difficult for men to approach.

Some venues, especially museums such as MOMA PS1, and Chelsea Gallery Nights do a good job of drawing both genders.

I have to admit that some subjects or events naturally draw one gender over the other...such as ballet or say, a bike race. But if you want to do something for the purpose of meeting the opposite sex, why aren't there more men at ballet classes and more women at bike races?

I think it's important, in anything, to try to draw both genders, and not rely on the misconception that one brings the other.

In the case of the speed dating event, I believe there are a lot of female registrants because they trust the venue. As for the low number of male registrants...I don't know.

What do you think?